PLOT: Lynn Jr.'s competitive and roughhousing nature reaches its peak when she fights a young man...for his toaster. That she fell in love with.
(SIDENOTE: Yes this is a joke fic.)
Story[]
It was a bright, summer day in Royal Woods. The Loud kids we all doing their own thing. For example, Lincoln was in his room sticker grinding in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Elsewhere, Leni was doing the tide pod challenge even though it's been dead now for the past few months. But, what Lynn Jr. was doing was going to cause many people to question humanity in modern times.
LYNN JR.: Time to hit the skateboard rink with Margo! But not before wolfing down all these meat subs I bought from that weird shady guy with all the tattoos! I--
It was then that Lynn Jr. stopped dead in her tracks. She noticed a man. You thought she was attracted to this man? Haha, no, far from that, my dear reader. She noticed the man's...toaster.
That toaster. Never had Lynn seen a toaster so beautiful in her life. Once she set her eyes on that toaster, they couldn't turn away from it. That toaster was just so incredible. She imagined spending the rest of her life with that toaster. She desperately wanted to give that toaster a kiss. Its crisp, clear, white exterior; its angelic, hot interior; it was then she knew what must be done. She NEEDED that toaster, and she needed it NOW.
LYNN JR.: Excuse me, young man, but...I noticed you have a toaster.
MAN: Why, yes, this is a toaster. I bought it from the store 15 minute ago.
LYNN JR.: That is one beautiful toaster you've got there.
MAN: Um...thank you?
LYNN JR.: May I...touch that angel of a toaster you have there?
MAN: What?
LYNN JR.: Oh, sorry! I meant...can I please have that toaster of yours?
MAN: What!? No! I bought this toaster for $150! I'm not gonna let some measly kid take it from me!
LYNN JR.: Measly kid!? I'll have you know I'm an expert at almost every sport known to man...and women!
MAN: I don't care! You're not taking my toaster! I don't care how creepily obsessed you are with my recently-bought kitchen appliance, you're not taking it!
LYNN JR.: Well, then prepare for some Lynn Jr.-brand karate!
(Lynn fights the man in an epic karate battle...and because the man knew nothing about karate, she won)
MAN: MY TOASTER!
LYNN JR.: Now you know what it feels like to be the victim of Lynn Jr.-branded karate! Thanks for the toaster! (to the toaster) Now let us go home, snooky-poo.
(as Lynn walks down the street, an angel of Robbie Rotten appears as holy music plays in the background)
ROBBIE ROTTEN'S ANGEL: Kid, what are you doing!? What you did was...wrong! Karate should only be used for self-defense, not to steal other people's kitchen appliances!
LYNN JR.: Who are you to speak!? You spent your life trying to make the people of your hometown lazy!
ROBBIE ROTTEN'S ANGEL: But then I was hit by pancreatic cancer, and I realized what I had done all my life was wrong! I begged for a chance at peace in the afterlife, and I got my wish! Please kid, if you want a chance at peace in the afterlife, give that man his toaster back!
(Just then, Robbie's angel disappears)
LYNN JR.: Huh? Wow...those meat subs must have packed a serious punch! I'm seeing things now! Ah well, off we go...my beautiful new boyfriend of a toaster.
(Lynn Jr. kisses the toaster and they head back home)
And so, a new chapter in her life began; Lynn Jr.'s new relationship with...a toaster. At first, she kept it secret. That lasted a good 2 months before her siblings and parents found out. When they discovered Lynn Jr. was dating a...toaster...they all went their respective rooms to take a moment and question the state of humanity as we know it today. But they soon realized that nothing was going to come in between Lynn Jr. and her toaster, so they gradually accepted it.
Lynn's relationship with her toaster was smooth one. She would take it on dates to the movies, go to the park together, and even have smooching sessions in her bedroom (well, at least whenever Lucy wasn't in there at the moment). She loved the burning, tingling sensation when the toaster was on and she kissed the toast slots. Throughout the years, their relationship was inseparable. In her graduate year, she took the toaster to her prom (her classmates and teachers also had to take a moment and question the state of humanity as we know it today). When she was 21, she made the nerve-wracking decision to propose to her toaster. When she presented the ring, the toaster popped a slice of bread...Lynn thought that meant the toaster said "yes". At her wedding, everyone there, once again, had to take a moment to question the state of humanity in modern times...but they knew they had to accept it.
But what about the other Louds kids? Who did they grow up to marry? Well, Lori married Bobby (no surprise there), Leni married the dummy Lola used to teach her self-defense (AGAIN people had to take a moment to question humanity when they found this out), Luna is currently engaged to Sam, Luan is married to Chuggaaconroy (because both love making bad puns), Lincoln by this point in time had been through many relationships (including with Ronnie Annie, Stella, Girl Jordan, Paige, and Cristina), and the five youngest Loud kids we're still living at home.
So what happened to the guy Lynn Jr. beat up to claim her future husband? Well, his whereabouts are unknown, but some people say he got up and went back to the store to buy a new toaster. Those same people say he decided not to call the police because he knew how incompetent the Royal Woods police are.
Oh, and I think Lynn Jr.'s toaster husband is named Larry...
THE END