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The Loud House Encyclopedia

The following is a transcript for the episode "Undie Pressure".

Script[]

Paramount Global The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[It's a rainy day at the Loud House; Lana runs down the walkway, opens the front door, and enters the living room carrying mud.]
Lana: "In a couple more hours, this mud will be perfect to play in!" [splashes the mud all over her face.]
[Lily is sitting on the floor, crying, and Luan is folding laundry on the coffee table, while Lola, Lisa, Lori and Leni are on the couch; Lola is admiring herself in her pocket mirror, Lisa is looking back and forth at a clipboard and a set of test tubes, Lori is talking to Bobby, and Leni is doing Lori's nails.]
Luan: "Hey, guys, why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke? 'Cause it always comes out clean!" [laughs]
[Lynn bounces a basketball off the wall in the background.]
Lynn: "She shoots! She scores!"
[Luna enters the scene, holding a radio toward her ear and listening to a Mick Swagger song.]
Mick: [on radio] "♫ Transformation, transformation / A citizen of the rock and roll nation! ♫"
Luna: [in a British accent] "I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Mick!" [Lucy pokes her head out of the fireplace, making Luna jump in terror.] "BLIMEY!"
Lucy: "I'm trying to write here."
Lori: [on the phone, to Bobby] "No, I love you more, silly." [to Leni] It's our six-week-iversary.
Leni: "You two are like, gonna be together for, like, ever."
Lisa: "Speaking of forever, Lori, my study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time."
Lori: "EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!"
[Lincoln appears in the doorframe between the living room and dining room.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Ah, rainy days. Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics."
[Lola, while looking in her mirror, sees Lincoln throwing off his shirt and pants in its reflection.]
Lola: "Groooooss!"
Lincoln: "What?"
Lola: "Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?!"
Lincoln: "'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting." [shakes his booty at Lola] "And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!"
[Lincoln sits between Lola and Lisa; Lola, repulsed, jumps onto the armrest.]
Lola: "ACK! It's an annoying habit and you get butt germs everywhere!"
Lincoln: "Me, annoying? You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds!" [holds up all four of his fingers.]
Lola: "LIES!"
[it turns out Lola is looking in her mirror rather than at Lincoln; she looks back, closes the mirror, and smiles sheepishly.]
Lincoln: "And Lori, would it kill you not to talk to Bobby all the time?!"
Lori: "I do not talk to Bobby all the time!" [to Bobby, over the phone] "Do I, Bobby?"
Lincoln: "And Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies!"
Lisa: "It's quite fascinating work."
Lincoln: "See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!"
Lori: "We could last longer than you!"
Lincoln: "I bet you couldn't!"
Lola: "Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting?" [hops onto the couch crest, and walks back and forth.] If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then you have to give up reading in your underwear...FOREVER!" [raises her fist]
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana and Lisa: "YEAH!"
Lincoln: "Hold it! What's in it for me?"
Lola: "If you win, we'll never complain about your butt cooties again."
Lincoln: "Okay. But if I beat you, you also have to buy me these beauties." [opens up an underwear catalog and points to a circled picture of red briefs.] "Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, non-binding elastic. I'll just call them my victory undies."
[the girls go into a huddle and discuss the deal, whispering unintelligibly; Lola looks back once as they do.]
Lola: "Deal."
Lincoln: "Great! So, if I have to read comics with my clothes on, Lola can't look in the mirror..."
[Lola closes her mirror, surprised.]
Luna: [British accent] "Rock and roll!"
Lincoln: "...Luna can't speak in a British accent..."
[Luna puts her hand over her mouth, also shocked.]
Lana: [running for the front door.] "MUUUUUD!"
Lincoln: "...Lana can't play in the mud..."
Lana: [turns back and walks slowly, dejected.] "Dang it."
Lori: "No, I love you more, silly."
Lincoln: "...Lori can't talk to Bobby..."
Lori: [hangs up] Bobby who?"
Lincoln: "...Leni can't say 'like'..."
Leni: "Like, okay." [grins sheepishly]
Lincoln: "...Lucy can't pop up and scare people..." [Lucy backs her head into the fireplace.] "...Lisa has to give up her weird studies..."
Lisa: [apologetically] "Forgive me, science."
Lincoln: "...Luan can't tell bad jokes..." [Luan literally zips her mouth shut.] "...Lynn can't turn everything into a sport..." [Lynn, holding a broom like a hockey stick, dejectedly starts sweeping normally.] "...and Lily can't cry."
[Lily puts her pacifier in her mouth.]
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lola and Lisa: "DEAL!"
Lola: "Pants up, buddy boy!"
Lincoln: "Okay, competition...[puts on his pants] ...starts... [puts on his shirt] ...now!"
Leni: "Wait, like, I wasn't clear on the rules."
Lori: "Leni, you can't...say...'like'!"
Leni: "Oh, got it."
Lincoln: "Okay, competition starts now."
Leni: "I'm, like, totally gonna win this." [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
[The girls groan]
Lucy: [appears next to her siblings] "Nice going." [they jump in terror; a red "X" appears over Lucy's face, and a buzzer sounds.] "Dang it."
Lola: "Come on, ladies, stay focused!"
Lincoln: "Two down. I can practically smell those victory undies. Wait, let me rephrase that!"


[The girls are lying down, bored.]
Lola: [putting her makeup on unevenly] "See? I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on. Comfy over there, Lincoln?"
Lincoln: [shifting around, uncomfortable] "Yep. Just about...to dive...ugh...into my...comics. Agh."
[Lola smiles sinisterly. Lori's ringtone plays an electronic version of "Here Comes the Bride"; Bobby is calling. Lori whimpers as she tries to press the hang-up button.]
Lola: [presses the button] "Control yourself, woman!"
[Lori sighs, exasperated. Luan and Lynn are folding laundry.]
Lynn: "Well, nothing sporty about folding laundry."
Luan: "Or funny."
[Lana looks big-eyed through the window, watching Charles and Cliff play happily in the mud out in the rain; she gets down on all-fours and runs toward the door like a dog, but Lola steps in front of her.]
Lola: "Lana, HEEL!"
[Lana paws on the door, whimpering, but Lola sharply points the other way; Lana runs toward Charles' doggy bed and curls down in it, sad.]
Luna: [Swedish accent] "Herdie, verdie, verdie. Easy peasy, I just svitched to Svedish, ja?"
Lisa: "You poor, fragile Homo sapiens."
[Lori's ringtone plays again; Luna grabs the phone.]
Luna: "I vill take dat, ja?"
Lori: [grabs the phone for a tug-o-war] "No you von't! Dah, I mean won't!" [wrestles with Luna for the phone in a tug-o-war.] "GIMMIE!"
[while both girls fight, grunting all the while, they bump into the laundry basket, causing a folded pair of socks to bounce out; Lynn watches the bundle bounce in slow motion and imagines it as a basketball.]
Lynn: [images of basketballs appear in her eyes.] "Basket...ball..."
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa: "DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!"
Lynn: [hits the bundle into the basket.] "TWO POINTS!" [throws the remaining sock bundles in rapid succession.] "TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! YAAAAAAY-AH!" [jumps into the air for a victory pose; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
Lincoln: "Buh-bye." [Lincoln continues to struggle in his clothes; he loudly groans.] "Maybe the pants are the problem." [goes toward the laundry basket and looks at some of the pants.] "Too scratchy...too tight...too far after Labor Day...Oh, these are perfect!"
[Bobby suddenly appears pressed outside the window.]
Bobby: [desperate] "Babe! Why aren't you answering my calls?!"
[Lori looks forlornly at Bobby, puts her hand on the window, then looks away.]
Lori: "Forgive me, my love." [draws the curtains over the window; she then notices something.] "Lincoln, why are you wearing my leggings?!"
Lincoln: [wearing Lori's leggings] "Hey, you never said I had to wear my pants. Plus, these are so comfy!"
Lori: "Good luck. Those are the ones that really...ride up on ya."
Lincoln: [walks away] "Sure, Lori, you're just trying to mess with my--HELLO! Yep, those are ridin'!" [walks while pulling the seat area of the leggings down.]
[Luna is holding the radio toward her ear, and she listens to an announcement.]
Jay Rock: [over the radio] "Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!"
[Luna's eyes widen, looks back and forth, and slinks away to behind the curtains; she signals for Bobby to shoo, and she calls the radio station on her cellphone.]
Jay Rock: Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent.
Luna: [whispering, in the accent] "Come on, love, hand over those tickets."
Jay Rock: "Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!"
Luna: [whispering, slightly louder] "Come...on love, hand over those tickets!"
Jay Rock: "If you don't speak up, you can't win!"
Luna: [Angrily shouting] "HAND OVER THE BLEEDING TICKETS, MATE!" [Lincoln draws back the curtains to reveal Luna to the others. She sheepishly switches to Swedish] "Herdie verdie?" [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]


[Lincoln is struggling to read his comic, and he pulls back the seat of the leggings.]
Lincoln: "Ugh, I've read the same panel twenty times!"
[there's a "knock-knock" at the door.]
Lincoln: "Who's there?" [gets an idea]
Bobby: [from outside] "Bobby!"
Lincoln: [slyly addresses Luan] "Bobby who?"
[Luan prepares to give a punchline, but Lola silences her.]
Lola: "Don't you DARE answer that joke, Luan!"
Lori: "I gotta let him in!"
[Lori rushes to the door, and she fights with Lola to open it.]
Bobby: [from outside] "Geez, how many Loud sisters does it take to open a door?!"
Lola: "Luan, do NOT answer that!"
[Luan is holding her cheeks, struggling to resist her urge to tell jokes.]
Lori: [points the other direction to distract Lola.] "Hey, look, free makeup samples!"
Lola: "Huh?"
Lori: [puts Lola down] "HA!" [she opens the door to reveal Bobby on the other side; she stares adoringly at him.] "Bobby!"
Lana: [stares at the mud Bobby is tracking; she stares adoringly at it.] "MUD!" [she rushes outside and jumps into a mud puddle, giggling maniacally; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
Lori: [In midhug with Bobby]"Happy six-week-iversary, Bobby-Boo-Boo-Bear!" [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
Bobby: [After hug, arms at each other's shoulders.] "Thanks, babe! I would have been here sooner, but I had to wait for a chicken to cross the road."
Lincoln: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Luan: "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COOK! TO PROVE HE'S NO CHICKEN!" [laughs maniacally]
Lola: "NOOOOOOOO!" [tackles Luan]
Luan: [breathing deeply] "Sweet comic relief." [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
Lola: [growls in frustration]
Bobby: "Here, babe, I brought you something special. [hands Lori a milkshake.]
Lori: "Awww." [she drinks from it]
Bobby: "It's the milkshake from our first date, six weeks ago."
[Lori's eyes widen, and her stomach begins to growl; she clenches her stomach and rushes up the stairs for the bathroom.]
Lori: "Coming through! Literally!"
Lisa: [gasp] "The missing piece of my gastrointestinal study!"
[Lisa runs upstairs for the bathroom; we hear the door opening and Lori's screams of embarrassment.]
Lisa: [offscreen] "Sweet mother of discovery!"
[Lisa makes her way back downstairs and into the frame; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds, the "X" moves with her before disappearing.]
Lisa: [to the audience] "I'm only human."
Lola: "YOU PEOPLE ARE USELESS!"
Lincoln: "And then there were two."
Lola: [hides her eyes beneath her hair; acts sinister.] "You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a REAL PROFESSIONAL!"
[a dramatic spotlight is cast on Lola, and she turns her face to reveal her uneven makeup; her eyelid makeup and lipstick are smeared across her face, her hair is messy and shaggy, and her pupils are blank and colorless.]
Lincoln: "I won't give up, for the sake of all things comfortable!" [snaps the seat of the leggings, causing him pain.] "YIGH...gotta do something about these pants!"


[Lincoln is now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants.]
Lincoln: "Now these are pants I can read in!" [hops on the chair and continues reading.] "You girls better start pooling your money, because I'm about to win this thing!"
Lola: "Then perhaps it's time to turn up the heat." [turns the thermostat up from 70 to 98 degrees.]
Lincoln: [begins to sweat] "Whew, is it hot in here?" [walks over to the thermostat] 98 degrees?! So that's how she's gonna play it!"


[Lola is walking down the stairs, and she sees Lincoln holding a rag.]
Lola: "Lincoln, what are you doing?"
Lincoln: "Just readin'. Oh, and I polished every surface of the living room. So shiny, you can see your face."
[Lola sees that all the shiny surfaces around her bear her reflection; she shields her eyes.]
Lola: "AAH! Must...not...look...at self! Beautiful...beautiful self!" [runs for the kitchen, screaming.]
Lincoln: "And I waxed the kitchen floor, too! Such reflection!"
[Lola runs back into the living room, screaming, and she hits her face on the back of the chair, leaving an imprint of her makeup on it; she falls onto the floor, dazed.]
Lola: "THAT'S IT!" [hops onto the chair, with a pair underwear in her hands.] "Give up, Lincoln! You know you want these!" [rubs the underwear on Lincoln's face.] "Smell 'em! SMELL THAT COTTON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT 'EM!"
Lincoln: "I'm not giving up! You'd give up right now if you could see what's wrong with your face!" [holds up Lola's pocket mirror.]
Lola: "WHAT?! Guys, is there something wrong with my face?!"
[the girls clamor, trying to convince her otherwise.]
Lola: "LIES! GIVE ME A MIRROR!" [she looks into a shiny doorknob, and she screams at her hideous reflection; she dashes upstairs for her room, then comes back down a few seconds later, back to her normal self.] "Ahh, that's better." [a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.]
Lincoln: "I WIN!" [rips the sweatpants off] "The victory undies are mine!" [opens up the catalog] "Okay, ladies, pay up!"
[Lily throws her pacifier at Lincoln to get his attention.]
Lincoln: "Hey, Lily."
[Lily looks up at Lincoln, and he comes to a startling realization.]
Lincoln: [gasp] "LILY!"
Lori: "She didn't cry this entire time! That means..."
[the girls toss Lily into the air in victory.]
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana and Lisa: "LILY WINS!" [they cheer for Lily, who laughs along with them.]
Lincoln: [collapses to the floor] "And I lost!"
Lola: "Well, Lincoln, guess you have to give up reading comics in your underwear forever!"
[a red "X" appears over Lincoln's face, and a buzzer sounds.]


Lola: [doing her makeup in her mirror] "Ahh, how I've missed this beautiful face."
[Lincoln groans as he struggles to read his comic fully-clothed; Lola looks at this display with pity and sympathy, and she closes her mirror.]


[There is a "knock-knock" at the door, and Luan goes to answer it.]
Luan: "Who's there?"
Delivery Man: [from outside] "Delivery man."
Luan: "'Delivery man' who?"
Delivery Man: "Come on, kid, it's raining!"
Luan: "That's your punchline? You really need to work on your delivery." [skips away, laughing]
[Lincoln answers the door.]
Delivery Man: "Package for...Lincoln Loud." [hands Lincoln a package.]
[Lincoln opens the package, and he gasps its contents: a pair of red briefs.]
Lincoln: "My victory undies! I don't get it!"
Lori: "We didn't order it for you."
Lola: "I did."
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana and Lisa: [all annoyed] "But he lost the bet!"
Lola: "Come on, you guys, we clearly can't give up our things. Why should Lincoln have to give up his? We should all accept each other's habits... [looks away in disgust] even if some of them are really, really gross."
[the girls clamor in agreement; Lincoln runs for Lola and gives her a hug.]
Lincoln: "Thank you!" [gets teary-eyed] "They're almost too nice to wear." [wipes his tears; sniffs] "But not that nice!"
[Lincoln rushes off and puts his new undies on.]
Lincoln: [to the audience] Ah, rainy days. There's nothing like doing the thing you love surrounded by the ones you love...and 2,000-thread-count undies."
[Lincoln snaps his underwear and reads his comic book, surrounded by his sisters, who are happily indulging in their habits.]
[cut to outside where Bobby is chasing a chicken in the rain.]
Bobby: "Chicken, come back! Why did you cross the road?!"

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