The following is a transcript for the episode "Snow Bored".
Script
[The Loud House. It is nighttime, and snow is falling. Inside, the siblings are watching the television news.] News Anchor: "Good evening, everybody. Now stay warm and stay tuned. Because we'll have tonight's weather right after this." Lucy: [wishing] "Oh, spirit in the sky, grant my wish." Lori: [her fingers are crossed] "Fingers crossed." Luan: [her arms and legs are crossed.] "Everything crossed." Lily: [drinks milk from her bottle, burps and laughs.] Lola: "I got my lucky rabbit's foot." Lana: "I got my lucky booger. This baby got me through preschool." Lynn: "And I got my lucky jock" [stretches it, slinging it into Lincoln's face.] Lincoln: "Ugh!" [to the viewers] "You may be wondering what the heck is going on here. I'll show ya'." [opens the front door and steps outside.] "See that? Snow, beautiful snow. And if it keeps coming down, we can be in for a snow day tomorrow. So tonight, we're doing everything in our power to make it happen." Luna: "Dudes! The weather's on!" [Lincoln runs back in and cross his fingers.] Patchy Drizzle: "Patchy Drizzle here. Takin' on the weather, myself. Rollin' up my sleeves" [rolling his sleeves up] "Takin' it on." [The Loud kids watch it seriously.] Patchy Drizzle: "Better put on the old snowshoes, folks, 'cause we could be getting up to twenty four inches of Mother Nature's dandruff. I regret saying that." [takes a piece of paper] "Ahem. The following schools will be closed tomorrow." The Loud kids: [hopeful] "Royal Woods! Royal Woods! Royal Woods!" Patchy Drizzle: "Beaverton, Hazeltucky, Huntington Oaks and..." [The kids look on in awe.] Patchy Drizzle: "...that's it." The Loud kids: [sad] "Awwww..." Lola: [angrily] "WHY YOU LOUSY-" Patchy Drizzle: "I'm just kidding. You too, Royal Woods!" [Aerial view of the house and the whole neighborhood; the kids start cheering and jumping up and down.] The Loud kids: [excited] "HOORAY!!! WOO HOO!!! Snow Day!! Snow Day!! Snow Day!!" Patchy Drizzle: "Snow Day!!" [Lisa appears and turns off the TV.] Lisa: "This just in. There will not be a snow day tomorrow." [Her siblings are surprised and stop cheering.] Lisa: "Once I spray my super strength salt across the city roadways, we shall have no trouble accessing school." [They all boo at Lisa and throw pillows at her.] Lola: [angrily] "WHY WOULD YOU RUIN OUR SNOW DAY?!" Lisa: "Ahem." [pulls a chart down] "For every school day you miss, your brain functionality decreases by approximately point 0.006 %" Leni: "But Lisa, snow days are F-O-N, fun!!!" Lisa: [presses a button and the chart goes up.] "I rest my case. Besides, I fail to see how frolicking in frozen temperatures like a bunch of nincompoops is fun." Lincoln: "What if we could show you how fun snow days can be? Then would you call off the salt?" [The Loud kids agree with Lincoln and are excited to help Lisa] Leni: "Yeah! F-O-N! F-O-N!" The Loud kids: "F-O-N! F-O-N!" Lisa: "Fine!! But only because I can't stand to hear you spell erroneously." [The Loud kids cheer as they walk off.] Leni: [stops walking] "Wait, I thought we were spelling "fun"."
[The next day, everybody is getting out of the house to have fun in the snow.] Lisa: "Okay, you've got four hours. Dazzle me or it's back to school for you truants." [puts on her snow goggles.]
[Lincoln runs while pulling Lisa on the sled.] Lincoln: "Woo! Sledding! What do you think, Lis?" Lisa: "I think my buttocks are cold." [The sled hits a rock and Lisa accidentally gets off it while yelping.] Lisa: "And now bruised."
[Lincoln finishes building an igloo.] Lincoln: "Here's another snow day classic. Snow Fort!!! Come on in. You gotta check out the built in cup holders." [goes in] Lisa: "Hmm... lacks crossbeams, low baring walls, a solid foundation..." Lincoln: "All choices that I made." Lisa: "Hardly up to code." [After Lisa touches the igloo, it falls apart.] Lincoln: "It's collapsible too." [Lana comes] Lana: "How about letting old Lans take the reins?" Lincoln: "Knock yourself out. My buttocks are cold. And bruised."
[Lana made a snowman.] Lana: "Say hello to Mr. Twig Arms!" Lisa: "Huh. So, what does Mr. Twig Arms do?" Lana: "Uh... nothing. But, he's awful jolly." Lisa: Perhaps if you valued your education, you could build something with more pizazz." [presses a button and a robot appears out of the garage.] "Say hello to Mr. Reinforced Titanium Alloy Arms." [The robot is searching for a target to destroy and thinks the snowman is the enemy and shoot lasers at Mr. Twig Arms.] Lisa: "Sorry, I forgot he has jolly seeking lasers."
[Lola is ice skating.] Lola: "Here's the returning champion, Lola Loud! About to execute a triple salchow!"[performs her triple salchow and sticks the landing.] "Come on, Lisa! It's your turn!" Lisa: [counting formulas] "Based on water density, air temp, and the weight of a small human, that ice should give way in 3, 2..." [The ice breaks and Lola falls into the water.] Lola: "Dang it." Lisa: "Dang it's right. I was one second off."
[Lisa and Lucy are making snow angels.] Lisa: "What exactly are we doing?" Lucy: "Playing corpsicle. It's my favorite snow game." Lisa: "How do you win? By getting hypothermia?" Lucy: "Yes."
[Luan is holding a bucket full of snow.] Luan: "Watch this, Lis. You're gonna love snow pranks." [The two siblings walk up to Lincoln who is rebuilding his snow fort. Luan winks at Lisa, who is confused and puts snow balls on Lincoln's butt.] Luan: "FROST BUTT!!" Lincoln: [panics and shivers] "Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold!" Luan: [laughs] "Oh, man. Classic Luan." Lincoln: [still shivering] "Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold!" Lisa: [researching on her phone] "Uh...as the famous Shackleton expedition has shown us, losing a buttock to frostbite is no laughing matter." Luan: "Eesh, I'd really like to make a crack right now. But, it's snow time to be cheeky." [laughing] "Get it?" Lisa: "Unfortunately, yes." Lincoln: [still shivering] "Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold!"
[Lynn and Lisa are on a bobsled while their siblings watch.] Lynn: "Representing Royal Woods in the World Bobsled Finals, it's Lynn and Lisa Loud!! Oh, yeah!!" [starts the sled on the slope.] Lisa: "Woah, woah, woah... Stop!!!" Lynn: [slips and accidentally lets the sled move away.] "Uh-oh." Lisa: "I can't see this ending well." [Lisa goes really fast and gets off from her sled screaming in panic and falls in the snow. Her siblings gasp and come to her location.] Lincoln: "Umm.. Snow angels?" Lisa: "It's over, guys. Snow days are both pointless and a health hazard. Ergo, I shall unleash the salt." Lisa's siblings: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
[The Loud kids complain at Lisa.] Lincoln: "Aw, come on! Seriously?" Lisa: "My decision is final. You cannot talk me out of it." [Someone throws a snowball at Lisa.] Lisa: [angry] Alright, who did that?" [The Loud kids move away and reveal that it was Lana.] Lana: "Aw, you finks!" Lisa: "You've poked a bear, my friend." Lana:"Haha. What are you going to do..." [Lisa throw a snowball at Lana.] Lisa: "Huh. That was actually quite satisfying." [Lisa makes another snowball.] Lynn: [helping Lana up with Lincoln] "Here, Lana." Lincoln: "Let's help you up." [Lisa throws a snowball at Lana again, and the others as well.] Lisa: "Hey, this is kind of..." Lincoln: "...fun?" Lisa: "Yes, F-O-N, fun." [The Loud kids are having fun with snowballs.]
[Later at nighttime, Lincoln is blowing hot air at his hot cocoa.] Lisa: "Hey, Lincoln. Thanks for today. You made a snow day convert out of me." Lincoln: "Well, I'm glad you had fun. Especially since Patchy said back to school tomorrow." [Lisa gets surprised and smiles.]
[The next day, the Loud sisters come into Lincoln's room while he is still sleeping.] Lynn: "Lincoln, wake up! It's a snow day miracle." Lincoln: "Lynn, what are you talking about?" Lori: [joyful] "Look outside!" [Lincoln looks out the window to see it's another snow day.] Lincoln: "What in the what? How is this even possible?" Lana: "Oh, my lucky booger worked again!" Lisa: [imitates buzzer] "Incorrect. I called some friends at NASA. They pulled a few strings, and a little cloud-seedding later, we have ourselves another snow day." Lincoln: "That is awesome! Thanks, Lisa." Lana: "Aw, I still think that was you, Lucky B." [Kisses her booger]
[Outside, Lincoln is sledding.] Lincoln: "YEAH!!!!" [Suddenly, Lisa blasts snowballs at him and Lincoln crashes into a tree where a pile of snow falls onto him.] Lisa: [laughs] "There's nothing like another whole day of lobbing frozen projectiles. WOO HOO!! Snow day!!!"
[Lana is making another snowman.] Lana: "Ah. Even better." [Suddenly, Lisa starts firing snowballs and makes a hole on Mr. Twig Arms Jr.] Lana: [gasps] "Mr. Twig Arms Jr.!" Lisa: [laughs] "Look alive, Lana! Mr. Twig Arms sure doesn't."
[Lynn is riding her sled when suddenly Lisa appears on her own one.] Lisa: "Hey, Lynn!" [busts out a snowball gatling gun] "Say hello to my not-so-little friend." [laughs as she throws snowballs at her sister.] Snow daaaaaaaaaaaaay! [Lynn falls into Lincoln's fort.] Lincoln: "Dang it."
[Lisa comes by with a bazooka loaded with snow.] Lisa: "Hey, guys! I want to show you my latest invention: the Ultra Snowzooka! Patent pending." [Looks around] "Guys? Where'd they go?" [The others are inside the house.] Lincoln: "Sheesh! We've created a monster!" Lori: "At least we're safe in here." Lucy: "Yeah. It's not like she can bring snow inside the house." [Lisa shoots snow at them and they yelp at their ambush.] Lisa: "Behold, my latest latest invention! Indoor snow! Patent pending!" [Lisa starts shooting snowballs and laughs while her siblings run off terrified.]
[Lori is hiding in her room's closet.] Lori: [to Bobby on her tablet] "Boo Boo Bear, Lisa is literally out of control." [pants in fear] Lisa: [opens the door] "On the contrary, I've never felt more in control, or more alive!" [to Bobby] "She'll have to call you back, Boo Boo Bear." Lori: "I love you." [Lisa shoots Lori with snow, covering the phone's camera, and it shuts off.]
[Lana is checking outside of her room and runs to the bathroom. In the bathroom, Lisa shoots snow.] Lana: [runs out of the bathroom with her dungarees down while screaming.] "Is nothing sacred?!" [Lisa laughs evilly]
[Lincoln and Leni are hiding in the fireplace.] Lincoln: "We should be safe under here." Leni: [holds a bag of brown nuts] "I brought chestnuts for roasting." Lisa: [up the chimney] "YOO HOO! Here's Jack Frost nipping at your nose!" [Lisa shoots snow down the chimney.] Lincoln: "Oh, shoot." [the snow covers him and Leni.]
[Lucy is hiding in the vent.] Lucy: "That maniac will never find me here." Lynn: [Shows up] "Mind if I join you?" Lucy: "It's pretty crowded up here with me and the spirits. But I think there's room next to Great Grandma Harriet." Lynn: [sits next to her sister] "Phew! Oh, safe at last!" [A giant snowball is rolling towards Lynn and Lucy. They panic and run away from it.] Lynn: "Move it, Grandma!" [Snow splatters outside the vent as the scream is heard.]
[Later at night, the Loud kids are at the living room and wish to end snow days.] Lucy: "Oh, spirit in the sky. End this madness." Lori: [fingers crossed] "Please, please. No more snow!" Luan: [arms and legs crossed] "Yeah, I can't take another day of this." Lily: [drinks milk from her bottle, burps and laughs.] Lola: "How do you reverse a rabbit's foot?" Lana: "Lucky B, You've gone too far!" Luna: "Dudes! It's on!" Patchy Drizzle: "Well, no one saw this coming but it looks like we're in for another foot of snow tonight! And that's gonna mean... [The Loud kids gasp.] Patchy Drizzle:...School closings!!!' [The Loud kids groan sadly.] Lisa: "YESSS!!! Thank you, NASA!!! You punks ready for tomorrow? 'Cause my snow powered tank sure is!"[clicks a button] [Outside, the tank sends more snow.] Lisa's Siblings: "NOOOOO!!!" Lincoln: "Lisa, please, enough! You have to call off the snow day." Lisa: "Sorry, bub. Cloud-seeding isn't exactly reversible." Lincoln: "Then use your special salt!" Lisa: "But I'm really looking forward to another snow day. You guys convinced me, they are F-O-N, fun!" Lincoln: "I think we've had enough fun".[The sisters beg Lisa to call off the snow day.] Leni: "Please! We gotta go back to school!" Luan: "Bring on the learning!" Lisa: "Well, I'm quite crestfallen. But if that is the consensus, I'll submit to the will of the majority." Leni: "So...going back to school?" [Lisa nods and the sisters cheer.] Leni: "S-K-O-O-L! S-K-O-O-L!" Lincoln: "Thanks, Lis." Lisa: "No problem, Lincoln. Best get ready for bed. School day tomorrow."
[The next morning, Lisa is sitting in her tank, which now shoots the salt.] Lisa: [to the viewers] "Well, Houston, mission accomplished. My master plan was a major success. I'm pretty sure my siblings won't be wanting anymore snow days." [rises out of the tank] "And now that I've repurposed my snow tank to a salt-spraying, snow-melting de-icer, it's time for some real F-U-N, spelled correctly, I might add." [Lisa makes the tank move forward and spray salt as her siblings follow her.]
Lisa's sisters: "School day! School day! School day!"
Lincoln: [to the viewers; confused] "Wait. What just happened? "
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