The following is a transcript of the episode "Pets Peeved".
[In the kitchen, Charles, Cliff, Geo, and Walt are getting treats from the cupboard. Geo is on Charles who is lifting Cliff. Walt flies in with one of the girls' scrunchies and pulls the cabinet door open. Cliff eyes the treats and meows with admiration and hearts over his head. But just as he reaches for them...]
Lincoln: [off-screen] "Hey, guys! We're home!"
[The pets leave the kitchen and rush over to the kids in the front room where they give them lots of attention and love.]
Lisa: "How's my Felis Catus?"
[The kids pet and scratch them.]
Leni: "Oh, you're so cute! I love you so much!"
Lola: "Yes you are!"
Lynn: "Sit, Charles!"
[Charles sits on command.]
Lynn: "Now, shake!" [shakes her hand with his paw.] "Now, play dead."
[Charles keels over, pretending to be dead, while on command.]
Lucy: [reading from a rites book] "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."
[Lori turns on a laser pointer and Cliff chases it.]
Lori: "Get the dot! Go get the dot!"
Leni: [chasing it as well] "I'm trying, but it's going too fast!"
[Lily bounces Geo's hamster ball over to the door; but then Lana opens it up and knocks Geo and his ball away as the hamster cheeps in shock.]
Lana: "Guys! Guess what I found!" [reveals a little dog in her hands.]
Lola: "Ooh! Pretty earmuffs. GIMME!"
Lana: [scoffs] "They're not earmuffs. This is a dog." [lifts its bangs up and reveals its eyes.] "I found it wandering in the park. It doesn't have a collar."
Lana's siblings: [admiring it] "Aww..."
[As they ogle the little doggy, the other pets look at each other concerned.]
Lynn: "Are you hungry, little guy?"
Luna: "Dudes, we should give him a treat!"
Lori: "I was literally just going to say that! Except for the "dudes" part."
[Luan gives the dog a treat and then she and Leni pet him. The four main pets come in and make their calls (Charles barks, Cliff meows, Walt tweets, and Geo chitters) to ask for a treat and show some big, shiny pleading eyes.]
Lincoln: "Aw, sorry, guys. You can have treats anytime. Right now, this poor lost doggy is hungry."
[The pets groan in frustration.]
[The kids are watching the dog who's sitting in Luna's lap.]
Luna: [patting him and putting a pillow under him.] "Aww. Lay your weary head to rest, brah."
Lana: [turns him around] "Uh, that's his butt."
Luna: [grossed out] "Bogus."
[Cliff jumps into Lynn's lap and pads his paws on Lynn.]
Lynn: "Ow, Cliff. No claws." [puts Cliff on the floor with the other three pets much to the cat's dismay.]
[Later that night, Lana comes out of the bathroom with the dog.]
Lana: [relieved] "Ah. I loaned the puppy my toothbrush, so now we're both ready for bed." [shows her and the puppy's smile.]
Lola: [snatches the puppy and cuddles it.] "Well, too bad he's sleeping with me."
Luan: [snatches it] "I don't wanna get ruff with you, but he's sleeping with me!"
[The kids all start grabbing and fighting over the puppy as the other pets look on.]
Lynn: "He's sleeping in my bed!"
[Lisa blows a whistle, breaking up the argument.]
Lisa: "Fear not, siblings; I have the solution." [pulls out her blackboard] "There are eight hours of sleep and eleven siblings who desire to share their slumber with the adorable canine. Therefore, said canine will spend 43.6 minutes in each bed."
[They all go back to their rooms while Charles goes into Lincoln's, but Lincoln puts him out.]
Lincoln: "Sorry, buddy. I gotta keep this spot free for my 43.6 minutes."
[He closes the door and Charles whimpers. The sisters start putting the other pets out of their rooms for the night.]
Lana: "Sorry, Walt."
Lynn: "Sorry, Cliff."
Lori: "Sorry, Geo."
[They all close their doors, leaving them downtrodden. Charles then gets a serious look on his face and groans.]
[The pets are having a meeting in Charles' doghouse with him heading while the other pets complain about the new dog. Charles bangs his gavel with his teeth and then barks about what could happen to them. A thought bubble appears with the pets looking sad in cages and put up for adoption.]
UNWANTED PETS 4 SALE CHEEP!
NO OFFER REFUSED
Lincoln: "Pets for sale! Come get your pre-owned, previously loved pets!"
[Cliff yowls and claws away the thought bubble. Charles pulls down a projector screen and remote. It shows a slide of a fire hydrant and he quickly blocks the slide, not knowing how that got there. He then shows another slide showing the new dog and the pets throw junk at the slide. The next slide shows the dog covered by a "NO" sign. The pets huddle up and discuss the plan to get rid of the dog and put their paws, wing, and ball together.]
[The next day, the pets are standing by the staircase. Cliff whistles and the new dog comes upstairs to see them, barking with joy. The pets then look at each other sneakily and Cliff claws the tablecloth and pulls the vase down, causing it to fall and break. The other pets hide in the bathroom, waiting for the puppy to take the blame.]
Rita: [gasps] "Our wedding present from Auth Ruth!"
[The pets think she's gonna get furious at the dog, but...]
Rita: [elated] "I have been wanting to get rid of that ugly thing for years, but I felt too guilty! You get a treat." [gives the dog one and carries him off.] "Oops. That's your butt."
[The pets facepalm at their failed plan.]
[Lynn Sr. takes dinner out of the oven and the pets quickly eat it when he's not looking and slide the dog into the kitchen to set him up.]
Lynn Sr. [noticing the dog] "You ate the whole thing? Ah!" [picks the dog up] "Finally, someone who appreciates my liverwurst, shrimp, and hot mayo casserole!" [sighs with relief] "Usually, eating it's a one way ticket to the sink or toilet, huh?"
[The pets then gag from finding out what they just ate and rush off to the closest place they can throw up.]
[In the backyard, the new dog is playing with a butterfly. Charles comes in with the garden hose and sets it down. Walt turns the valve and Cliff steps on the hose to overflow the water. He gets off and the hose sprays the dog. Geo rolls up to the dog and somehow kicks him into the mud. The hamster falsely gasps and slyly giggles. The pets run into the house and Charles calls the dog from the pet door to the kitchen. Charles calls him again and the dog follows him while tracking mud all over the house. Charles calls him again from upstairs and the dog follows and tracks more mud. After school, the kids are outside walking all the way to the door. The moment they step in, they see the whole house covered in mud and find the dog still tracking it, unaware of what their pets did.]
Lori: [gasps] "Look at those muddy paws!"
[The pets listen from just outside the bathroom door, waiting for what they're hoping for.]
Lola: [angrily] "You know what that means!"
Siblings: [grab the puppy] "BATH TIME!"
Lincoln: "I'll grab my loofah!'
Leni: "Look at this little puppy!"
[The pets facepalm at yet another failed attempt.]
[Cliff, Walt, and Geo are packing their things, but Charles barks, not ready to give up yet, and opens the phone book to an ad for an animal control center called Green Mile. Geo rolls his hamster ball onto the side table and knocks the phone off the hook. Walt dials the number with his beak and someone picks up.]
Schmitty: "Green Mile Pet Sanctuary. This is Schmitty. How may I help you?"
[Charles barks into the phone.]
Schmitty: "You sound like a stray little doggy. Keep on barking so I can track your location."
[Charles barks some more.]
Schmitty: "Got ya!"
[The pets hang up and wait for Green Mile to get there while the dog barks. Charles whistles, pulls out his tennis ball, and tosses it to Cliff who tosses it out the pet door while the dog chases after it. The second he's out, Charles blocks the pet door with a wooden lock, leaving the dog unable to get back in. He goes around to the front just as the Green Mile truck pulls up. The animal catcher from the van nets the dog.]
Corinne: [on her radio] "Schmitty, this is Corinne. Got your stray. Over."
[She takes off with the dog while the pets look on satisfied at the results and imagine the dog happily playing on a farm. Charles and Cliff highfive together and the pets sit down to watch a little TV.]
Announcer: "We'll return to the 12:30 movie after this."
[A commercial for Green Mile comes on.]
Announcer: "Here at the Green Mile Pet Sanctuary, we need your help. All of these cute little animals need a home."
[The pets then look on horrified as to what they're seeing.]
Announcer: "For just the price of a cup of coffee, you could save the life of an adorable, helpless friend. Won't you adopt one today?"
GREEN MILE PET SANCTUARY
[The pets realize what they have done.]
[The pets are back in Charles' doghouse discussing their error and Charles shows a slide of a poodle and tries to cover it up, not knowing how that got there either. He then shows a slide that features the map for Green Mile and the route they'll take to break in and save the dog. The other pets agree and they put their paws, wing, and ball together.]
[Out in the desert, a truck drives up. The pets hop out and Cliff meows a thank-you to the driver's cat who meows back. The driver takes his cat and closes the door with an uneasy look at the pets who hitchhiked with them and drives off, revealing the pets are right in front of Green Mile. They sneak over to the side and watch one of the employees walk up to the automatic doors by stepping on the mat and going in. They try to get in by stepping on the mat all at once, but it doesn't work. They then throw a trash can at it and the loud thud causes the doors to open. Schmitty then gets a call and answers it.]
Schmitty: "Green Mile Pet Sanctuary. This is Schmitty. How can I help you?"
[The pets sneak by Schmitty and go in. Geo pops out of his hamster ball and chews the wire on the surveillance, shutting it off.]
Schmitty: "What the heck?"
[Walt then goes in, aims for the target with his eye, and poops in Schmitty's coffee. They then crawl through the hall. Charles stops the others and points out the dog in a cage nearby.]
Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo: "Shh!"
[Cliff picks the lock with Walt's beak and Walt opens the door. The dog whimpers in fear that they'll do something to him again, but Charles licks him, assuring him they're sorry for what they did. He then leaps into their arms and happily barks.]
Charles, Cliff and Geo: "Shh!"
[The dog stops barking and Charles silently signals them to move out while Schmitty is still checking the surveillance monitors.]
Schmitty: [taps a monitor] "Cheap, crummy monitors." [sips his coffee that Walt pooped in.] "Mmm. Like those lumps." [notices the Loud pets escaping with the dog.] "Hey, get back here!" [grabs his net and chases them.]
[The pets knock the trash can off the mat and the doors close, making Schmitty faceplant into them. They then run all the way back to Royal Woods, but they're captured by Corinne.]
Corinne: "Oh, yeah! Corinne for the win!"
[Corinne is taking the pets back to Green Mile.]
Corinne: "Schmitty, this is Corinne. Over. I apprehended the fugitive and his accomplices. We're gonna need four more cages. Over." [laughs maniacally] "Over."
[The pets, not giving up, angrily break their way through the net, strike a heroic action pose together, and try to open the backdoor. Walt opens up the bottom compartment and shows it to the others. Charles grabs a crowbar and hands it to Cliff as they all struggle to open the door, but Corinne sees them in her rear-view mirror.]
Corinne: "What? Oh, no, you don't!" [turns sharply, causing the pets to hit the side of the van and laughs; makes another sharp turn.] "Whoa!" [crashes the van, opening the door.]
[The dog tells them that they can go now.]
Corinne: [laughing and holding her net.] "Nice try, you little troublemakers." [stomps her foot down, making the pets lose their footing and nets them again.] "Gotcha! You gotta get up pretty early in the mor-" [notices the little dog got away.] "Well, yeah. That one, but he'll get his."
[The pets look on with concern at what will happen to them now as Corinne takes them back to Green Mile.]
Corinne: "Oh, but don't you worry. I'll find that-" [notices the little dog on the roof growling at her.] "Huh?"
[The dog attacks Corinne and bites her butt.]
Corinne: "Ow!" [runs off screaming]
[The dog frees the other pets and they all caress him as thanks for saving them.]
[Back at the Loud House, the kids are worried about their missing pets. Lana's holding up a poster she made.]
Lincoln: [hanging up; downtrodden] "Well, Clyde hasn't seen them."
Lori: "Neither has Bobby. Come on. We have to go look for them! Everyone, bring your posters!"
Lana: [sniffs, forlorn] "I don't know what I'm gonna do if we don't find them!" [starts crying and hugs Luna for comfort.]
Lisa: [on the verge of tears] "Whilst I normally view animals as mere test subjects, those little guys are family."
[The kids all start crying and Charles barks to them.]
Lincoln: "Sometimes, I can still hear them."
[The kids go back to crying and Charles barks to them again.]
Lincoln: [stops crying and realizes...] "Wait!"
[The kids turn around and see their pets and the dog back home and cheer for their return and grab their pets with lots of love while the little dog is ignored.]
Lana: [to the dog] "You, too, new puppy! Get in here! You're part of our family, too."
[The puppy comes into their arms.]
Loud Kids: "YOU'RE AN OFFICIAL LOUD!!!"
[The doorbell then rings. Lincoln answers it and it's a little girl at the door.]
Clare: "Hi. My name's Clare. I'm looking for my dog. He slipped out of his collar, and-" [notices] "Watterson!" [walks up to the little puppy.] "There you are!" [Lana gives Watterson to her.] "I've missed you. Oh, how I've missed you." [to the Loud sisters] "He's my best friend in the whole wide world. Thank you for taking care of him."
Lori: "It was literally our pleasure."
Luna: [upset] "Aw. Looks like you're going home, little dude." [kisses his butt]
Lana: "Uh, Luna, that's his butt." [Luna stops kissing it] "Bye, Watterson." [turns him around] "I'm sorry you won't be a Loud, but I'm glad your friend found you." [tearfully hugs him]
Clare: "Come on, Watterson. Time to get you home." [prepares to leave]
Loud Sisters: "Bye!"
Luna: "We'll miss you!"
Leni: "Love you!"
[The pets are sad that Watterson is leaving, but he hops out of Clare's arms and gives them each a friendly lick goodbye with Geo's lick rolling his ball away.]
Clare: "Come on, Watterson! Come here, boy!"
[Watterson goes to Clare and the two of them leave.]
Lincoln: [to the pets] "We're so glad you're home. How about we all go to the kitchen for a nice big treat?"
[The pets sprint to the kitchen where Lincoln gives them each a treat for them to enjoy.]
Lisa: [off-screen] "DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY MY SLIDE PROJECTOR WAS IN CHARLES' DOGHOUSE?!"
[The pets worriedly look at each other over that little detail they forgot as the episode irises out on all four of them.]
| v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts