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The following is a transcript for the episode "Friendzy".
[There are brawls breaking out all over the house. The loud noise catches the attention of a policeman, whose car pulls up to the house. In the dining from, the siblings are fighting, when suddenly...]
Policeman: "Police! Open up!"
[Hearing a policeman at their door, the siblings immediately stop fighting]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "You're probably wondering "What did you guys do now?" Well, to explain, I have to go back a few days."
A FEW DAYS EARLIER
[Flashback. Vanzilla is seen pulling out of the driveway]
Lincoln: [narrating] "You know us Louds. We're notorious for fighting over everything, which usually leaves us with nothing."
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, we need some tunes for the ride. What should it be?"
Lori: "Love songs!"
Lynn: "The sports station!"
Lisa: "West Coast rap!"
[Realizing they all have differing opinions, the siblings begin arguing with each other, where they begin fighting. Without warning, Rita takes out an air horn, and blares it, making the kids stop fighting, cover their ears, and cause the back window to shatter]
Rita: "If you kids can't decide, your father and I will decide for you."
[Rita turns the radio on, and some country music begins playing]
Rita and Lynn Sr.: "YEE-HAW!"
[The kids groan in defeat]
Lynn Sr.: "Kids! I'm off to the grocery store! Any requests for dinner?"
[Suddenly, the house begins shaking. The siblings begin rushing downstairs, shouting their requests]
Lincoln: "Chicken nuggets!"
Lori: "Bean chips!"
Luan: "Banana cream pie!"
[Lynn Sr. hollers at the impending chaos]
Lana: [from upstairs] "Worms! The butcher usually sets some aside for me."
[The siblings begin arguing with each other, and, without warning, Lynn Sr. blares the air horn, which makes the kids stop fighting]
Lynn Sr.: "If you guys can't decide, I'll decide for ya. Goulash it is!"
[Lynn Sr. twirls around for a second, and exits the house, making the kids groan in defeat]
[Flashback. The siblings are rushing to the TV. Lincoln hops over his sisters, and gets to the couch first. Lincoln grabs the remote.]
Lincoln [sighs] "Time for ARGGH!."
[From behind, Lucy snags the remote, and her sudden appearance makes Lincoln fall over out of panic]
Lucy: "You mean Vampires of Melancholia?"
[From behind, Lana bumps Lucy with her butt, where the remote falls out of her hands, and Lola catches it]
Lola: "You mean Prison Pageants."
[Suddenly, the kids begin fighting over possession of the remote]
Luan: "You guys can't be remote-ly serious!" [laughs] "But really, I wanna watch the Circus Channel!"
[The siblings are now arguing with each other, and, without warning, Rita arrives, and blares the air horn, making the kids stop arguing]
Rita: "Well, if you kids are going to fight, I'll take the remote. Thank you."
[Rita forcefully takes the remote from Lola, sits down, and changes the channel to an elderly woman watering a plant]
Gardening Grandma: "Now we just wait... and watch it grow."
[After that sentence, the woman just stares at the plant while doing nothing. After five seconds of complete silence, the kids groan in defeat]
Lincoln: "And now you're caught up."
[Lincoln answers the door to see the policeman standing there]
Policeman: "Okay, kids. Break it up! Party's over."
[The horde of friends leave the house]
Lori: "Wait, Leni!" [exasperated] "You don't leave, you live here"
Leni: [heading back into the house] "Oh right!"
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