"Since my folks love what I bring to the table, I make them the same thing every year: this awesome coffee mug!"
"No wonder Mom and Dad just throw all your old gifts in the attic."
"Mom and Dad do hate my gifts!"
"If you turn your head to the side and squint..."
"...it almost looks like Aunt Shirley."
"When he's this pathetic, it takes all the joy out of making fun of him."
"Everyone, to the backyard."
"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
"I nose just what this picture needs!"
"Maybe you should take off that gross face!"
"Can we all just settle down!?"
"Look at us. We're like a vision of insanity!"
"Thank you for understanding."
"Uh-oh. Guess we'll have to wait till after the solar eclipse."
"Wow, you're like a wizard! Or a weatherman."
"When did we get grass in our bedroom?"
"Oh, Lori. I believe you know Carol Pingrey."
"Didn't she beat you out for homecoming queen?"
"Let's get this over with."
"Oh, Lincoln, this is wonderful! It's the best gift we've ever gotten."
"It's going above the mantle right now."
"Aww! Thank you, Lincoln!"
