The following is a transcript for the episode "Change of Heart".
[Lincoln is reading a book and having some carrot sticks. He vaccumes one in his mouth right when doorbell rings.]
Lori: [on the phone] "Whitney, wait till you see my new shoes. They will literally blow your mind!"
[She opens the door and it turns out to be Clyde who is struck by her beauty.]
Clyde: [nervously infatuated] "L-L-Lori?" [gets a nosebleed which spills on Lori's shoes, making her scream so loud the crows fly away, and faints.]
Lori: [aggravated] "Ugh. Never mind, Whitney." [hangs up] "Lincoln, this is the fourth pair of shoes Clyde's ruined this month!"
[Series of flashbacks of all the other pairs Clyde ruined. First, Lincoln and Clyde are reading comics in his room. Enter Lori with the luandry basket.]
Lori: "Lincoln, do you have any laundry?"
Clyde: [sees Lori] "L-L-Lori?" [nosebleeds and gets her shoes ruined, making her scream.]
[Next, the boys are looking in the fridge for a snack and take out a dish with Lori right behind them.]
Lori: "Hey, you'd better not eat all the leftover gazpacho."
Clyde: [nervous] "L-L-Lori?" [starts acting like a robot] "SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTTING...DOWN..."
[His shut down knocks the gazpacho out of Lincoln's hand and lands on Lori's shoes.]
[Now, Lori is in Vanzilla.]
Lori: "Mom, Dad, I'm off to practice!" [notices Clyde in there for some reason; startled.] "Clyde?! What are you even doing here?"
Clyde: [shaking] "L-L-Lori?"
[His nose blood squirts right onto her shoes. Lori just bangs her head on the steering wheel's horn. End flashbacks as they put Clyde on the chair.]
Lincoln: "Maybe you should try wearing red shoes." [sees Lori growling at him; scared.] "Right. Bad idea, Lincoln."
Lori: [calm] "Ugh. I just wish Clyde could act normal around me." [leaves]
Clyde: [comes to] "So do I, my sweet angel. So do I." [opens a locket of a picture of a startled Lori.] "But how am I supposed to act normal around such a beautiful, flawless..." [starts nosebleeding again]
Lincoln: [shoves carrot sticks up his friend's nose.] "Don't worry, buddy. We'll figure something out."
Mr. Grouse: [from outside; talking to Leni] "Dang blast it! Eberhardt's dog went number two on my lawn again!"
Leni: "Try doing what I do, Mr. Grouse. I'll name all 40 states, and by the time I'm done, I've forgotten why I was mad."
Mr. Grouse: "Well, actually, it's 48. But I'll give it a try." [starts naming them in alphabetical order] "Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California..."
[Lincoln had watched it from the window.]
Lincoln: "Actually, Clyde, I may know someone who can help you!"
[Cut to Leni in the living room.]
Leni: "Sure! What do you need my help with?"
Clyde: [stammering] "L-L-L-L..."
Leni: "Of course! Loofahs! Well, first of all, natural fibers are the way to go."
Lincoln: "He's talking about Lori."
Leni: "Oh. She doesn't use a loofah." [whispering] "That's why she has bacne."
Clyde: "No. I want to learn how to act normal around her, or at least just stop bleeding on her shoes."
Leni: "Have you tried shoving carrot sticks up your nose?"
Clyde: "Yes! And bread sticks, and pretzel rods, and corn dogs, which you really need to let cool down first."
Leni: "Well, no worries. I know other ways to help you." [takes Clyde]
[Later, Lori peeks her head from the second floor and sees Lincoln playing video games.]
Lori: "Lincoln, is Clyde still here? This is literally my last pair of wearable shoes."
Lincoln: "Don't worry about Clyde. He's hanging out with Leni."
[From the kitchen, Leni and Clyde are laughing. Lori peeks in to see it.]
Clyde: "Oh, Leni."
Lori's Thoughts: "Leni and Clyde? That's...weird."
[Outside, Lori is practicing her golf swing.]
Lori: [narrating to herself] "If Lori Loud can sink this four-footer, she'll literally win the Masters."
Lynn: "Heads up!"
[A frisbee comes by and Lori ducks and swings. Lana and Lynn laugh and chase after their disc. The golf ball lands right next to the cellar window.]
Clyde: [inside the basement] "And if I don't get a nosebleed, I'm usually doing this." [does his robot impression] "SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE." [mimics power down]
[Lori witnesses it]
Lori's Thoughts: "Hmm...I only thought Clyde acted like an awkward robot around me."
[The frisbee hits Lori]
Lori: "Oof!" [falls into a hole]
Lucy: [holding a shovel] "Do you mind? This grave is spoken for."
[Lana notices what happened and sheepishly leaves.]
Lori: [on her phone] "Carol did what? Hang on, Whitney. I literally need chips for this story."
[Leni and Clyde are in the kitchen.]
Leni: "So, when somebody makes me nervous, I just stare at their left air and recite my ABC's."
Clyde: "Got it! Great tip." [writes it down]
Lynn: [from outside] "Heads up!"
[The frisbee flies into the kitchen and hits Clyde in the nose.]
Clyde: "Ow!" [starts bleeding from his nostrils and covers it up.]
[Lori enters giggling and sees them and hides.]
Leni: [with blood on her shoes] "My shoes!"
[Lori had seen it]
Lori's Thoughts: "Now he's getting nosebleeds on her shoes?" [Lori gasps] "This can only mean one thing: Clyde likes Leni!"
Lori: [jubilant] "I'm free! I'm free!" [gasps with joy and runs to Vanzilla.] "Oh, I am going shoe shopping!" [drives off]
[Later, Lori returns with new shoes. Leni gets a call and answers.]
Leni: "Oh, hi, Clyde. What a nice surprise."
Lori's Thoughts: "Oh, poor Leni. I wouldn't wanna be in her shoes. Literally. Ooh! Lori, that was good."
Leni: "Thanks for the shoe cleaning supplies. It was totes sweet of you. You're the most thoughtful person I've ever met, Clyde."
[Lori looks at some gifts Clyde gave her in the past.]
Lori's Thoughts: "Well, I will give him that. He is pretty thoughtful."
[A series of flashbacks of her receiving those gifts is shown. First, there's a telescope with a note on it and she reads it.]
Lori's Thoughts: "Congratulations. A new star has been named after you: Corona Lori-alis."
[Lori looks into the telescope and an arrow points to the star in question. Clyde falls out.]
Clyde: "Whoa!" [thuds] "Oof!"
[Next flashback takes place in winter where Clyde has made a literal snow angel that looks like Lori, but Charles runs up to it to pee on it.]
Clyde: "Charles, no! Not on my snow angel!"
[The next flashback shows Lori coming home defeated in a golf game. She finds a teddy bear on the steps and reads the note on it.]
You may have lost your golf tournament, but you'll never lose my heart.
[Lori presses the bear]
Teddy Bear: "I love you fur-ever."
[Lori doesn't like it very much. End flashbacks. She presses the bear again.]
Teddy Bear: "I love you fur-ev..." [breaks down] "...er..." [pops an eye]
Lori's Thoughts: "[gasps] What am I thinking? I have to get Clyde back!"
[Downstairs, Lincoln, Clyde and Leni are all playing video games together. Enter Lori with a pitcher.]
Lori: "Oh, hey, guys. Just wondered if anyone wanted some lemonade."
[Her very presence puts Clyde in a paranoid state as he tries to act normal.]
Lori: [confused] "Clyde?"
Lincoln: "Ooh! I'll take some!"
Lori: [angrily] "Get your own." [tosses glass aside]
Leni: "Great job, Clyde. You were in the same room as Lori and no nosebleed."
Clyde: "Yeah. Your ABC's trick really worked."
Leni: "It always does...unless you have to go past the letter P 'cause then it gets really hard. Okay, now let's work on the next step: eye contact."
[The sun is blazing, but Lori is wearing a wintery scarf.]
Lori: "Brr! Boy it is chilly today. So glad I have this cozy scarf Clyde made me."
Lincoln: "It's 85 degrees, and you're sweating."
Lori: [growls like a lion at Lincoln; sweetly to Clyde.] "Clyde, wherever did you learn to be such a great knitter?"
[Clyde stares at Lori, holds his breath, and runs back inside.]
Leni: "It worked?"
Clyde: [exhales] "Yup. I just held my breath, like you said."
Leni: "Great! You're ready for the final step: conversation! But that one we'll need to train for."
Clyde: "Just give me a moment." [hyperventilates into his paper bag.]
Clyde: [petrified] "Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this!"
Lincoln: [knocks on one of the support beams; acting.] "Oh, someone's at the door. Who could it be? Why, it's my eldest sister, Lori."
[Enter Leni dressed like Lori]
Leni: [Lori impression] "OMG. Bobby, texting, literally."
[Unbeknownst to them, the real Lori is coming over with a comic.]
Lori's Thoughts: "Clyde can ignore the lemonade and the scarf, but this limited edition Ace Savvy comic will definitely do the trick."
Clyde: [shaking] "H-h-h-hi, Lori. H-h-h-how's it going?"
Leni: "Super job, Clyde!"
Lincoln: "Yeah! You sounded totally natural!"
Clyde: "Thanks." [shows an ice pack under his shirt] "The ice pack was a great idea." [removes it] "It really kept me distracted; though I can't feel my bellybutton."
[Lori approaches the door]
Leni: "This has been totes fun. You're such a great guy, Clyde."
Clyde: "Thanks, Leni. And may I say, you've never looked more beautiful."
Leni: "Oh, Clyde!" [giggles]
Lori: [tosses the comic and growls] "That does it!"
[In the bathroom, Lori is changing her appearance to look more like Leni.]
Lori's Thoughts: "So, Clyde likes the way Leni looks? Fine! I can look like Leni!"
[She tries brushing her hair, but the brush snaps to her annoyance. Outside, her sisters are waiting impatiently and demand that she come out.]
Lori: [opens the door] "LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M BUSY!"
[The other sisters gasp at the sight of the firstborn.]
Lynn: "Uh...why do you look like Leni's messed up twin?"
Lori: "Because I'm trying to win Clyde back!"
Luan: "Win him back? He's obsessed with you."
Lori: "No. He's obsessed with Leni now. But not for long."
Lana: "Why do you even care?"
Lucy: "Yeah. You hide when he comes over and throw his gifts in the trash."
Luan: "You use his homemade cookies as doorstops."
Lori: "Well, yes, but-"
Lola: "Do you like Clyde now?"
Lori: "Of course not!"
Lana: "Well, then why are you trying to win him back?"
Lori: "I just need him to like me. Now stop asking questions! I know what I'm doing!" [goes back in the bathroom, takes a look in the mirror, realizes and sighs.] "What am I doing?"
Lori's Thoughts: "You're trying to win back Clyde. Now stop farting around and straighten that hair!"
Lori: "No, I don't need to win Clyde back. I need to apologize to him."
Lori's Thoughts: "Don't be a fool!"
Lori: "Shove it! I'm not listening to you anymore."
[The other sisters except Lola slowly inch away from hearing Lori talk to herself.]
Lola: [uncomfortable] "I don't think I need to tinkle after all."
[Back at Clyde's house, Clyde steps out with confidence.]
Leni: "Okay, Clyde, your training is complete. You ready to go have a normal conversation with Lori?"
Clyde: "You know it!" [holds up a fish from his shirt] "I just hope this frozen salmon takes longer to melt than that ice pack did."
[Clyde salutes to his trainer. She and her brother give him a thumbsup and he makes his way to Lori. Lori steps out of the bathroom and sighs. Clyde is being followed by a pack of cats who smell the salmon.]
Clyde: [nervous] "Nice kitties."
[He sheepishly smiles and runs screaming with the cats in pursuit. Lori descends the stairs and Clyde approaches the door. Lori opens it and sees Clyde standing on the step.]
Lori: "Clyde! I was just on my way to see you. There's something I really wanted to tell you. First, I wanted to apologize for never appreciating how kind and thoughtful you are. And second, I wanna thank you for making me feel so good about myself all these years. You're a special guy, Clyde, and literally anyone would be lucky to be your crush."
[She hugs him, and this causes his nostrils to bleed all over her shoes, much to her fright. Lincoln catches his unconscious friend.]
Lincoln: "Lori, what happened?"
[They bring Clyde to the sofa.]
Lori: "I don't know. I was just telling Clyde that I'm okay with him liking Leni now, and-"
Lincoln: "What are you talking about? He doesn't like Leni."
Lori: "But I saw them in the kitchen. He got a nosebleed all over her shoes."
Lincoln: "Yeah, because he got hit in the nose."
Lori: "Well, why was he acting like a robot with her?"
Lincoln: "He was just showing her what happens when he's around you."
Lori: "But I was just over at his house. I heard him say she was beautiful."
Lincoln: "Because she was dressed like you!"
Lori: "What? Why were they doing all this?"
Lincoln: "Because Leni was helping Clyde learn to act normal around you, just like you wanted."
Lori: "So...he never stopped having a crush on me?"
[Lincoln shakes his head no and Lori looks at Clyde with joy.]
Lori's Thoughts: "HA! I knew it!"
Lori: "No you didn't!"
Lincoln: [disturbed] "Uh...who are you talking to?"
Lori: "No one."
[Enter Leni still in her Lori costume]
Leni: "Oh, no! Poor Clyde."
[Clyde suddenly comes to and sees the real Lori and Leni in her costume.]
Clyde: [nervously infatuated] "T-T-T-Two Lori's?" [goes into robot mode] "SYSTEM OVERLOAD. EE-OO." [starts bleeding and malfunctioning across Lori and Leni.] "EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO."
Lori: [notices her shoes covered in blood, gasps, and smiles.] "Hm. I'm glad the old Clyde is back."
Clyde: [still malfunctioning] ""EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO." [spins, scurries off and knocks over Mr. Grouse's trash cans while he's gardening]
Mr. Grouse: [irate] "Why you lousy-hmm?" [remembers what Leni told him] "Ooh. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas..."
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